Dec 1, 2025 5 min read 2025-26

Stitch Incoming

Two things happened this week which made me feel old.

First, I was jumping up and down in my kitchen (not sure exactly why, the reason being lost in the ensuing pain) and rolled my foot in a way that was so sore I thought I might have broken it. I think it's just a sprain, but injuring yourself so stupidly is a sure sign you're in your thirties (I can't believe how naff it felt to write that phrase. In your thirties. Who do I think I am?).

Second, I realised what the phrase 'stitch incoming' actually means. For years, I have seen this phrase on TikToks that have been reposted on Instagram reels, and I thought it was meant as an indication that the video was going to give you a stitch. Which I took as meaning something like 'make you cringe'. A kind of metaphor taken from the feeling of having a stitch when you run too fast.

But it's far more literal than that (as I'm sure you know).

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It just means that there is going to be a response "stitched" onto the end of the video you're watching. So don't skip onto the next video, because there is a 'stitch incoming'. There's plenty of internet slang that I don't understand - for instance, the humour of 6-7 is completely lost on me - but this is the first time I've felt so strongly that I'm out of touch with the general meaning of ubiquitous language.

With that in mind, I'm going to review two second-round matches of University Challenge. You can watch the first one below, after which there will be a stitch (my review) incoming.

Southampton raced into the second round with a 255-70 shellacking of Bath, while Imperial took the circuitous route, via the play-offs after a narrow loss to Churchill.

My pre-round two rankings had Imperial 5th and Southampton 7th.

Here's your first starter for ten.

O'Flanagan comes in very early with seven, on a question about Tristan de Cunha, an island which has risen to prominence in recent times. I first learned of it in the covid-era game Worldle, and since then it has been in the news quite a lot.

Imperial took a hat-trick on musicals, then Williams hits back for Southampton with Yves Klein, who patented a shade of blue in 1960. And here's another example of me being out of touch, but I really don't get why the monochrome paintings he made using International Klein Blue are anything other than boring. Like, it's a nice colour, but it's just a big square of blue. Call it rage-baiting, call me a philistine, but I just don't get it.

Quite an enormous rectangle of International Klein Blue

Stephenson's video game expertise gives Southampton a hat-trick of their own on the bonuses before another O'Flanagan starter returns the momentum to Imperial. A stunning buzz of CRISPR from Dina extended their lead.

The picture starter, on sheet music, goes to Stephenson, earning a bonus set on French. Which is a bit of a silly bonus set, I feel, because it isn't a test of knowledge at all, and rather a test of 'do you speak fluent French?'

Another for Williams keeps the game very close, but O'Flanagan continues his excellent match and takes the next two starters, keeping Imperial ahead.

Phillip Glass gives Stephenson a third starter in the music round, but Imperial take charge of the contest with back-to-back ten-pointers after this, stretching the gap out to 75 points.

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If they want to stay in the contest, Southampton need to take the next starter, and they do so thanks to a great buzz from Hermanns-Kermode. He follows this up with another ten, and when Stephenson took the second picture starter, they were only 15 points adrift. It would have been 10 had they not inexplicably missed Frida Kahlo on one of the bonuses.

Julian of Norwich gives Williams another starter, and Southampton take their first lead of the match with avocado.

A clutch buzz from Keung steals the lead straight back for Imperial and he backs this up with another to put them 25 clear. Tong gets in on the act with Lewis, and Imperial surely have this sewn up.

They rush through the bonuses when they would be better served stalling, and Williams just about keeps Southampton in it with economics. She takes her fifth of the evening with Holland, and the gap is 20.

Two bonuses make it 10, but unfortunately for them, they don't have time for another starter and the gong sounds, saving Imperial's blushes.

Southampton 180 - 190 Imperial

What a game. Brutal for Southampton.

Since 2016, only two teams have scored more in second-round defeats - Warwick ( 185 vs Trinity 2023) and Open (185 vs Edinburgh 2016).

But it's time for another stitch, as we tackle last week's episode - Bristol vs Warwick.

I had Bristol ranked 13th after a low-scoring first-round win, and Warwick 3rd after a very high-scoring win.

Here's your first starter for ten.

Goodwill kicks things off by hunting out the answer porcelain, and a pair of bonuses puts them 20 points clear. Jenkins extends the lead with Canning, before Dennett gets Warwick off the mark with ants.

They race to a hat-trick on animal characters in video games, but Jenkins beats them to the picture starter with Bermuda, and Bristol follow it up with a hat-trick of their own.

Kluzowski guesses the Mayor of Casterbridge for a Thomas Hardy novel, but he's wrong, allowing Joyce to steal the points with Jude the Obscure. Bristol are now 55 points to the good, but Kluzowski doesn't fancy getting two wrong in a row and buzzes correctly with Ken Loach on the next starter.

Jenkins takes his third of the day with Luxembourg. He looks kind of like a guy I knew who was from Luxembourg, but I don't know whether that will have helped him.

Both sides miss a starter on Maori myths, before Levesley takes his first starter with Koppen, which starts a charge for Warwick. Buzzes from Howarth and Kluzowski bring them back with 5 points, but a neg allows Jenkins to nudge Bristol clear again with Las Vegas.

This is the end of Bristol's resilience, as Warwick took over through Dennett and Levesley, building a lead that would prove impossible to overhaul.

Bristol 145 - 180 Warwick

Rajan congratulates Bristol for applauding their opponents, but what else would you expect from a team captained by Goodwill? A better performance than I predicted, but not quite enough to take down the 3-seed Warwick.

Next up, we have:

LSE (6) vs Manchester (11)

Trinity (8) vs Edinburgh (12)

Lincoln (14) vs UCL (4)

Merton (1) vs Churchill (9)

And here is an update on my predictions. I'm 3/4 on the higher seed winning, though my one blunder saw the 16 seed defeat the 2 seed.