Young and Successful

Grand Final: Edinburgh vs Manchester

I used to think that you needed to be young to be successful. 

Like Arctic Monkeys, who started the band when they were 16, releasing Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not when they were 20. 

Or professional footballers, making their debut when they are as young as 15, like Max Dowman. 

Let's clarify that idea. It's not that I thought you needed to be young to be successful. More that if you were going to be successful, you needed to have been young when you started being successful.

Who would want to listen to a band which was formed when they were 40? If they were any good, they'd surely have gotten their shit together when they were younger. And if you haven't made it as a pro footballer by the age of 20, then you're finished. 

This is an idea clearly furnished by the mind of a young man. Writers don't become successful until they are much older. Entrepreneurs can be young, but generally they are older. Politicians (if you view political success as something worth striving for) tend to be older.

Perhaps this is now me trying to reverse engineer the idea of my own potential success (having started this blog as a young man of 21 and now being an old man of 30). However, there is something very exciting in watching young people being brilliant at something.

NB: I know that there are older contestants on the show. I'm not one of those who think you should ban them or set an age limit, but much of the success of the show is based on the fact that the contestants are (generally young) students.

The fact that A Certain Romance was written by an 18-year-old adds to its greatness. Watching Max Dowman charging down the pitch on his way to becoming the Premier League's youngest goalscorer was thrilling precisely because of the fact he is 16. 

Whipps Cross Hospital

This brings me to another footballer who also achieved greatness as a young man. David Beckham was born on 22 July 1975 at Whipps Cross Hospital. 

That's Whipps Cross Hospital. David Beckham, perhaps the footballer most associated with whipping crosses, was born at a hospital called Whipps Cross. What does this mean? It doesn't really mean anything, other than to illustrate one of the ways in which human beings acquire knowledge. That's quite a big stretch, I'll try to explain. 

What is knowledge? Knowledge is pattern recognition. It is connecting one thing to another and figuring out how they are similar and how they are different. Whipps Cross, whips cross. It is using that information to build something. It is coincidence, emergence, and brilliance. And it is what all eight of our Grand Finalists have in abundance. 

Smashes Buzzer Hospital

Manchester captain Kai Madgwick was born at Smashes Buzzer Hospital. That's made up, but you get the point. With 48 starters so far, they are on for one of the all-time best series performances. 

My fellow blogger Jack McB has Jason Golfinos' 50 as the high watermark since he started blogging in 2012. Gail Trimble hit 46 for Corpus Christi in 2009, but the highest I've found is the 62 for Alex Guttenplan in 2010, including 13 in the final. 14 in the final for Kai would tie the record and surely grab the series trophy for Manchester. A mere three would leapfrog Golfinos into second on the all-time list. 

And for all you historical purists, I know that University Challenge didn't start in 2009. If anyone has data on the best starter answerers from before then, I'd love to have it. I'd be stunned if anyone beats 62, but then again, Madgwick does stand a chance... 

If Edinburgh are to claim a second series title (for Manchester, it would be a record-equalling 5th), they're going to need to be on top form. They can't let Madgwick and the rest of the team get going, because as Imperial found out to their cost, there's no coming back. 

Rajan is dripped to the max in his customary Grand Final velvet jacket, and the Edinburgh team have done their best to match him, with various suits and sparkly ties and tartans. Madgwick has on their iconic tea cosy hat, keeping the brain warm for all of the buzzing to come.

Here's your first starter for ten. 

Which goes to... no one. Madgwick and Richards have forlorn guesses, but no points are handed out. No bother, the damp squib doesn't last long, and Madgwick needs only the words 'Largest timezone border' to buzz on for a 49th starter of the series.

A couple of bonuses on Pushkin plays follow, before Amjad gets Edinburgh on the board with Bose. This is key - not letting Manchester develop a head of steam as they did in the semi-final against Imperial. There is another dropped starter and then Richards nods Edinburgh in front with donkey. A hat-trick of bonuses on botany, and they lead by 25 points.

The picture starter is the national flag of Turkmenistan, which feels a bit... lazy for the Grand Final. These are the best teams in the country, so to have a national flag doesn't feel hard enough at this stage. I'm rarely more certain that a starter is going to go to a specific player (see Zeng on Geography in previous years), and Madgwick duly confirms my prediction. The bonuses are on more difficult flags, which is better, but I'm sure they could have come up with a more obscure one on the starter, too.

Aware of the fact that Madgwick's momentum needed to be stopped, Easwar buzzed early on the next starter, but he was wrong, dropping five points. Madgwick picks it up, overtaking Golfinos with 51 starters in the process. Degenerate makes it 52 and Rilke makes it 53. Going into the music round, Manchester led by 50 points.

No one recognises a Wagner opera on the music starter. Amjad then wins the bonuses with Thule and plucks Scriabin from nowhere on a bonus. Edinburgh are still in it, just about.

Half-time: Edinburgh 55 - Manchester 90

Madgwick's 54th kicks off the second half, before an unfortunate neg from Dickson hands the initiative back to Edinburgh. She buzzed with Argyll and Bute when the question had asked for a specific island, so she was clearly wrong, but she had identified the correct place. Amjad stole the points with Bute after Rajan mentioned Argyll later on in the question.

Easwar keeps insisting that Edinburgh move fast on the bonuses when they don't have a good answer, knowing that they are lagging behind and need the time to catch up.

A great buzz of corner by Amjad (from a clue about Dizzee Rascal’s seminal 2004 album Boy in Da Corner) keeps Edinburgh within touching distance.

The problem with Easwar’s tactic of rushing back to the buzzer is that Madgwick is the master of the starter, and Edinburgh's brief resurgence is quashed by their 55th of the series on a picture of Werner Herzog. Manchester can’t remember the name of the documentary about depressed penguins on the bonuses (and sadly don’t guess something along the lines of March of the Depressed Penguin), but they remain comfortably ahead.

Pomegranates maintains Edinburgh’s heartbeat, and Easwar is frantic now, racing through the bonuses at breakneck speed.

Both sides miss enantiomers with decent guesses. First, another unlucky neg from Dickson of 'stereoisomers', before 'chirality' from Richards (enantiomers are a type of stereoisomer, and chirality is the property that makes them enantiomers. Fine margins). That, perhaps, was Edinburgh's last chance, as the match is finally sealed with a 56th, and for good measure, 57th starter of the series from Kai Madgwick. A huge amount of joy is expressed at Savonarola on a bonus, but it needn’t have mattered. They are clear; the match is over.

A consolation brings Edinburgh into three figures, but it is Manchester who will lift the trophy.

Edinburgh 105 - 155 Manchester

What a great series with a team of worthy champions. A final between teams I ranked 11th and 12th after Round 1 shows the strength in depth of the teams these days (or just that I have no skill in predicting who’s the best).

Edinburgh simply couldn’t compete with the buzzer champ. Interestingly, 50 starters and 49 starters weren’t enough to win for Golfinos and Monkman. So 57 is the minimum needed to guarantee winning a series.

Miriam Margolys presents the trophy. She appeared on UC in 1963, and Bamber Gascoigne apparently knew she was going to be a star. She also said Fuck on the show, which would be an incredible blooper if the footage exists.

She ends the show by saying to Manchester, then Madgwick in particular, ‘You were brilliant. Especially you’. Which feels like a good point to end.

Thanks to everyone who’s read these reviews over the course of this series. If you've even vaguely enjoyed yourselves, as Rajan says, then why not subscribe?

Answer: Smash that buzzer button.

Congrats to Manchester, and to Madgwick for a stunning 57 starter series, but for now, it's goodnight from me.